Day 13

Lulu scared me last night. Bill was at work and I was asleep in the bedroom with "the kids," when I woke suddenly afraid for Lulu. She was next to me and very still, her eyes half opened. I looked at her chest and saw no rise and fall. I kept looking, waiting to see the telltale signs of life but detected nothing. I put my hand on her chest. I felt nothing but warmth. I thought to myself, "She's dead. She's dead and she's died recently." For a moment I couldn't believe it. Then I came to my senses and I shook her, hoping for a response but there was nothing. I tried again...nothing. On the third time, she took a shallow breath but didn't move. I was relieved but only somewhat. What if I fall asleep again and she stops breathing and dies? It took quite some time before I could trust myself to sleep, and even then I kept waking to check on her. I finally felt some relief when she changed positions about an hour after the episode. I wish I could say this was a dream, but it was very real and very scary. I notified the surgeon about the issue today hoping for some kind of reassurance but Dr. Wood could only say that this was unusual, that dogs do not experience sleep apnea, and should this reoccur we should take her to her regular vet for evaluation.

Fast forward 18 hours and you would never guess that this scary situation occurred earlier today in the wee hours. I decided to try Lu out in the baby stroller again. She was very uneasy about it the first time, but that's when she was battling with the dysphoria and was hypersensitive about her surroundings. So I placed her in the carriage. She was a little unsure of her footing since the bottom is soft, sort of hammock-like. She tolerated it, so I rolled it forward very slowly knowing that this only further excited her fear the time before. She was weary but curious, so I pushed her a little more and she relaxed just a little bit. The more further I pushed, the more curious she became, after all Frenchies are inquisitive little dogs. So I took her outside, down the front steps and out to the garage where Bill was working, Gus was unhappily left behind in the house. Bill agreed on a short stroll before work, he walking Gus and me pushing Lu. The smile on her face revealed her joy in being out in the fresh air, in the neighborhood, participating in life as only a French Bulldog can. Good girl, Lu, good girl.