I'm surprising calm about Lulu's condition. I think that being a mother has put things in perspective for me, in that I've come to terms with the fact that there are many things in life that are totally and completely out of my control. When it come to my daughter, Amelia, those things include when she sleeps and wakes, when she eats and is satified, when she needs attention (which is practically all the time), and, of course, when she needs a diaper change. It's always something.
My first serious lesson in control was at Mia's birth, that's what we call Miss Amelia most of the time. Anyway, it went completely and totally opposite what I hoped for in a birth. I wanted a natural birth, free of intervention and medication. What I got was an induction, with practically every intervention and medication that contemporary medicine has to offer. But, in the end, the most beautiful and perfect little baby girl was bestowed upon me, and I finally understood what other mothers told me: it doesn't matter how the child arrives. It really doesn't.
So back to Lu. She's a mess, but I love her dearly. I have come to accept her the way I accepted Mia's birth. It doesn't matter how I get her; I just need her to come through this latest episode whole in spirit. So if she remains paralysed forever, if she is incontinent forever, if she needs us in ways most dogs don't forever, I accept the challenge, because I love her.
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